Drama is a form of self-sabotage and self-punishment that, paradoxically, we’re unconsciously drawn to. Your experiences with negativity and drama can be highly addictive patterns, with a physiological basis. Even if you protest that you can’t stand drama, there are “secondary gain” rewards of involving yourself in dramatic situations and relationships that may keep you coming back for more, such as:
- Receiving sympathy and other forms of attention from others.
- Focusing upon someone else’s issues instead of your own.
- Giving yourself a great excuse to procrastinate.
- Feeling needed, either by rescuing others or by being rescued.
Some people are addicted to drama, like a drug it triggers a part of their brain causing them to crave the activity. They may even claim that they “hate” drama when they call you to tell you all about their experience or post their tale on social media informing anyone willing to listen. They are like meth addicts who claim to “hate” the stuff even as their teeth fall out, their skin ages, and they no longer resemble their driver’s license photo.
The question is why do some people create drama?
The obvious answer is…
Drama gets attention and is addictive!
However, it is more than that. Psychologists suggest that drama causes the pituitary gland and hypothalamus to secrete endorphins, which are the pain-suppressing and pleasure-inducing compounds, which heroin and other opiates mimic. Hence, drama eases the anxiety of wanting more attention than you are getting. Naturally, since drama uses the same mechanisms in the brain as opiates, people can easily become addicted to drama. Like any addiction, you build up a tolerance that continuously requires more to get the same neurochemical affect. In the case of drama, this then means you need more and more crises to get the same thrill. There is also another factor. Using drama as a drug feels good so it is rewarding. Reward uses dopamine, the brain’s happy dance drug. Dopamine works by releasing more dopamine on anticipating getting the reward (the way evolution gets you to want to do what you need to do).
According to a chapter in an edited academic book on crisis intervention, psychologists Gina Fusco and Arthur Freeman believe that people who become crisis-prone patients are in the so-called “Cluster B” of personality disorders, a designation meaning that they represent some combination of borderline, histrionic, psychopathic, and narcissistic trait designations. The crisis-prone person, Fusco and Freeman propose, finds that “waking in the morning and having to cope with life’s daily events is fraught with potential crises and the resulting angst.” The Cluster B personality disorders represent people who seek if not revel in drama, become worked up over small problems, and tend to see themselves as the center of their all-too-frenetic universes. Perhaps less understandable is the psychopathic part of the crisis-prone profile. Not every crisis-prone individual is psychopathic, of course. But where being crisis-prone may overlap with being psychopathic is in the tendency to exaggerate, if not lie, about the gravity of an emergency.
In another study it is suggested that excessive attention seeking is not a character flaw, rather it is a brain wiring response to early developmental trauma caused by neglect.
The key to healing from trauma and regaining your sparkle in life lies in understanding the link between drama and trauma, and discovering and resetting your patterns so that you can let your inner light shine.
It seems that the source of most drama, which is within our control, often stems from our insecurities and our belief systems, including the drama we create from our unprocessed pain.
We all have insecurities. It’s important to see how they undermine our relationships with others and ourselves and cause drama. We need to get out of our comfort zone and start recognizing and acknowledging our insecurities instead of making our feelings someone else’s responsibility!
Without self-made dramas, life floats to the tune of the universe, and it’s this tune that miracles and magic are made of.
If your day-to-day life or your relationships leave you feeling dull, depleted, or drained, you are probably trapped in the drama-trauma-stress cycle.
These changes dim your inner spark and keep you from living a fulfilling, joyful life. Fortunately, there is a way to break the drama-trauma-stress cycle, and it all begins when you gain awareness of unhealthy relationships and behavior patterns that lower your self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Doreen Virtue, prolific best-selling Hay House author who holds three degrees in Counseling Psychology, understands on a personal level how we can get drawn into a drama cycle. She also knows firsthand how sensitive people are more likely to have trouble saying “no” to toxic relationships – as past trauma can not only sensitize us, but actually addict us to unhealthy patterns.
Her experience and extensive training have given her unique insight into the psychological and physiological reasons we get trapped in trauma-drama cycles that deplete us and disconnect us from our higher selves and from others.
By addressing the many areas in which drama affects your life – including your friendships, romantic partnerships, and relationships with family members and even co-workers – Doreen shows you how to break the addictive patterns of stress, negativity, and conflict.
What results can you expect after taking this online course with Doreen?
You’ll feel more in control, more in charge, and more at peace with yourself and satisfied in your relationships. You’ll reignite that sparkle deep within and heal your body, mind, and spirit.
You’ll be able to develop healthy, loving, and supportive relationships by recognizing, fully understanding, and then changing your unhealthy patterns. When you start this process, your inner light – your joy, inner peace, motivation, and ability to focus and make heart-centered connections to others – can shine bright again!
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